Lawn Aficionado T-Shirts

"I couldn't disagree with you more. I think yours in greener."

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

STRIP The grass is always greener on the other side

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, haven't you?"

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Beginning Yarder.

"Mulch madness"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

'George! This way quick!'

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

Beware of the Lawn

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

Lawn mower - must get longer cable