Law Suits Gifts

"Act of God? Not a problem—we sue God."

Yes, I Think We Can Sue Someone For That.

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'What'll it be?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'It's a treasure map.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

A man wrapped in bath towel looks in closet where a bunch of identical men hang, each in a different suit.

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

Keystone XL

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."