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'Expert witness' 'Then, you see, you add the potassium nitrate...'

Civil and In-Civil Court

'A regulatory body is here to see you!'

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'Is it true? -- Did you push the plaintiff so that she fall down go boom?'

"Sorry, the lawyer - client privilege on confidentiality doesn't apply to free advice."

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'Our class-action suit covers any carbon-based life forms.'

'I was inclined to sentence you to community service but the community wants you locked up.'

"I'm Billy's mother, and this is his attorney!"

'List the constitutional amendments in any order? Hmmm ... 4th, 10th ... Ummmm ... 6th, 8th, 5th, ... '

EU - Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Whatever we do, we don't put in a comments section."

"I'm sorry, Timothy, but there's no suing over spilt milk, either."

H Corp - And it's high powered, take-no-nonsense legal dept.

North Dakota taxes.

'Damn. I forgot to sack the staff.'

Frivolous Fraud Squad

'I need a lawyer who specializes in guilty people.'

'I'm afraid your £20,000 fine for employing an illegal worker isn't a legit taxable expense.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

Arrogant junior barrister

'It's repetitive motion injury for throwing the book at people.'

'It makes the law seem so dull, so dry where's the place for drama, creativity and invention!'

No Smoking.

'I'd like to outlaw street mimes, too, but they have the right to remain silent.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

I went to a very special school, you had to be sent there by a judge!

Community Policeman

"I bill four hundred dollars an hour and I don't believe you'd be comfortable paying anything less."

No! The new mining bill hasn't passed yet!

Man caught speeding "I was rushing home to watch 'Police camera action'"