Law Critic Pillows

"If you live in a country where you can get arrested for fishing without a license, but not for entering that country illegally, it's safe to say that country is run by idiots!"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Trump Poutine

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Truth

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"You'll never believe who's here."