Legal System Critic Pillows

'Guilty or not guilty? - That doesn't leave me much wiggle room.'

Lawyer: 'You are poor. Speak quickly.'

"Maybe this wouldn't happen if you didn't allow the trial to drag on so long."

Sign reads: Couldn't get any compensation for damages within the last 3 weeks. Please hit me.

'In accordance with California guild lines, I sentence you to death. You will be taken to death row where you will die of old age.'

"Oh no! I'm going to get an Asbo!"

'While my practice is limited to celebrities, I occasionally represent a 'nobody' to prove the system works for one and all.'

Guantanamo

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

"How come I'm behind bars and you're not?"

'You stand before me accused of 'sexual harassment'. How do you plead, sweet cheeks?'

Game is over.

'It's always WITNESS protection programs! -- How come they never have CRIMINAL protection programs?'

Truth

"You've gotta be for Trump. It's all about the judges."

Equal Justice Is An Illusion

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"They're class action figures."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"I got probation."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Can you hear me now?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Can't we put in something about rich white guys don't have to pay taxes?"

Supremacist Court

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

TOO SLOW

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

'I plead not guilty by reason of money.'

"Don't worry, folks—with me on your side, the truth doesn't stand a chance!"

Barrett - rushed majority

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'