Law And Order Humor Gifts

"Why do you keep saying I have the right to remain silent."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Click it or ticket.'

Baby's first words.

'Judge Mental.'

Corporate Lawyers

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"But before we begin, this from legal, 'Be careful what you wish for.'"

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

Pleading the fifth is one thing, counselor. Drinking it is quite another.

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

"Having a real pitbull for an attorney was great...at first."

Piñata police line-up.

'Let's be fair about this, Your Honor -- how can the plaintiff be an objective witness if my client shot him?'

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

New Attorney.

'...if you don't stop..er..singing Mr Bieber I'll arrest you for possessing an offensive weapon as well as drunk driving.'

Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you adjudicate?

I have a weak case, so I thought I'd use big word balloons.

Warning: Quitting smoking now will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

"You declared him to be a hostile witness, your honor."

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

"And this is the juvenile court."

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"

'Uh oh! I don't like the looks of that jury.'

'Sure, I've had a few run-ins with the law. But it wasn't all my fault. As a child I was once left … unsupervised.'