Law Humor Fans Gifts

"Having a real pitbull for an attorney was great...at first."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'Judge Mental.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."