Law And Order Humor Prints

"Why do you keep saying I have the right to remain silent."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Click it or ticket.'

Baby's first words.

'Judge Mental.'

Corporate Lawyers

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"But before we begin, this from legal, 'Be careful what you wish for.'"

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"Having a real pitbull for an attorney was great...at first."

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'Let's be fair about this, Your Honor -- how can the plaintiff be an objective witness if my client shot him?'

"I wasn't texting or eating and there's no law saying I can't juggle."

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

"You declared him to be a hostile witness, your honor."

Warning: Quitting smoking now will greatly reduce your chances of getting a piece of the settlement pie.

"And this is the juvenile court."

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"

'Uh oh! I don't like the looks of that jury.'

'Sure, I've had a few run-ins with the law. But it wasn't all my fault. As a child I was once left … unsupervised.'

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'