Law And Order Humor Fan Prints

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'The highest court in the land.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

'Click it or ticket.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'Let's agree to disagree.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"No offence Jon, but..."

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."