Law And Order Elf T-Shirts

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

'Why is it always about me?'

Privatized Jails

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Newton's Law and Order.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

"No offence Jon, but..."

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Dr. McWit, I'm going to have to cite you for violating the laws of gravity.'

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"I want to report a race crime.'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

Corruption Contest

'We struck these tax laws, but they somehow spontaneously regenerated into line 501(c), section 746-e, subsection (3), as described in paragraph (2).'

Driving Mr. Qcrazy

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'Are you sure this is all you can remember seeing after you were attacked?'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"There! Caught another idiot using his phone whilst driving."

"I'm afraid this year due to the threat of terrorist attacks...customs controls...parking restrictions...I have decided to outsource the Christmas operation to Ebay and Amazon."

Good cop, bad cop 2020.

"We're all metric now..."

"If you can prove my innocence to the court, I'll give you half of my cut, from the bank job."

'A Policeman hey? My dad is a crime-fighter too: He's a Forensic Accountant...'

"Where were you five minutes ago when someone was stealing my getaway car?"