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'I wasn't speeding, but I did pass two cars who were.'

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

'Sorry, pal. Illiteracy is no excuse for breaking the law.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'Can you hurry and process my parking tickets...I'm double-parked.'

'Welcome to HARDNOSE CITY. . . Go directly to jail, next 3 exits.'

"You realize we just made it against the law to text and drive. . .right?"

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

No Zone: 'Don't know about you, Alf - But I might as well have stayed in with the missus!'

'Yes, sir... Thanks to Officer Parker's self-made cake, we got the guy!'

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Oscar Jennings, unregistered nurse.

Speed Limit 186,000 miles per second.

No Smoking (even people on fire are expected to follow no smoking rules now!)

A police officer pulls over a car

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Stop and Birch

"#notguilty."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Violent Crime Statistics