Law Bender T-Shirts

'Can we speed this up? I'm in a hurry.'

'You were speeding.' - 'That's right. To get away from reckless drivers.'

'No fishing beyond this point.'

No skating, no parking, no loitering, no cycling, no games, no nothing

"We've come here to smoke."

'Hey Bruce, good-on-yer-mate! It was a good idea of yours to set-up as a tobacconist and start selling alcohol... it certainly gets over the no-smoking legislation!'

'...and here's a nice one from the police, taken on your way to the airport!'

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Sue the Author 3PM

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Eric Clapton.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"#notguilty."

Stop and Birch

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Stop billing your daughter for reading her bedtime stories!!"