Laurel Metaphor Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I have to lose some weight...Every time I want to rest on my laurels I find I need wider laurels.'

Reading my Critics

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Out of control

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Good news. You know that elephant in the room we never talk about? He's now in the other room."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"The elephant is in the OTHER room. I want to talk about the PENGUIN in the room."

If poets wrote road signs.

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Dangling Carrots

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

"There are far too many balls in your court, Brintner!"