Launching A Wine Bar Gifts

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Shaken not stirred

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Opening the Barrel

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Body by Jake

Anton's Bar and Grill

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

Wine of the Day Club

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

Beer Garden Kit

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

Wine: New & Old!!!

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

A Busy Sports Bar

Wine: harsh, boring, pretentious, shallow and mischievous.

"Blueprints for Irish theme pub" found at the end of a rainbow

"This wine is CORKED!"

"Right, let the consumption of alcohol begin."

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

'Somehow, somewhere, someone's skimming the profits.'

"If you want to impress your date then I'd recommend this totally overpriced booze. If not, then the cheap box of plonk will do perfectly."

"Do you have a nice Beaujolais that goes well with a mama’s boy?"

"A pox on your house red."