Starting A Winery Gifts

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"I make it myself!"

Opening the Barrel

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'