Starting A Winery Gifts

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

"I make it myself!"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'That may be what the wine glossary says, but to me, terroir means a fantatic view.'

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

Opening the Barrel

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Who's the new guy?'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine