Opening A Wine Business Gifts

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

The Vineyard

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Opening the Barrel

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

true love.

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'Do you do anything with the old casks?'

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Fred red read wine has lots of benefits, including longer life!

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

Wine: New & Old!!!

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

The night they invented champagne.

Serving wine - "I make it myself."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

Wine: New and Old.

Wine: harsh, boring, pretentious, shallow and mischievous.

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."