Laughter Therapy Seeker Pillows

"We'd like you to take early retirement, retroactive to the day you started working here."

"You said you wanted to speak to your loyal subjects!"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Pet a Puppy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

Man fishing with large bait

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I hate all holidays!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'