Laughter-loving Logic Buster Gifts

"Doctor, I have a question about my medication."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

House of Wishful Thinking

'There, there, dear -- they're all alike.'

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

"What's the furthest away, America or the moon..?"CartoonStock Upload

Stop pay toll.

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

I also scheduled a pickup after we finish toiling in the fields. Amish Uber.

'When we talk, I have to take a lot for grunted.'

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Canned Laughter

Attorney and client, fortitude and impatience

'Do you look in the mirror after you've washed?'

"Amanda!! Pay attention!...You're drifting out of formation again!!!"

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

I don't care if going straight is quicker - next time we go around.

"You never listen to me! You only use your sticky-out ears to keep your mask on!"

"I hope, for the sake of society that it's correct. This could be the finest shoe polish ever created."

I knew you'd take Chuck's side

"Oh, that wasn't me talking. It was the alcohol talking."