Laugh-loving Minds Gifts

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

King and Jester

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"Open mike night"

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

Laugh break

'You are here' T-shirt,

Cracked Quacks Strip: Cosmetic surgeon mix up.

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

Carpet cleaning

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"It's just the milk talking."

'He's lost his voice...'

It was the last time Colin would buy anything online!

"Even after all these years, you can still make me laughso hard I pee my pants...of course, I dod that when I sneeze, too!"

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

'Rapunzel's migraines completely vanished since she started dating Ted from the airport.'

Fish Pedicure

'Summited Mount Everest, did you? Was that just the one time?'