Laugh-loving Gifts

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

King and Jester

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Hypnotoon

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"You came up in therapy today."