Laugh-loving Gifts

I also scheduled a pickup after we finish toiling in the fields. Amish Uber.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"This stool shall pass."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

King and Jester

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Hypnotoon

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Nana!'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."