Purveyor Of Playful Arguments Gifts

I knew you'd take Chuck's side

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

The Meaning of Life

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

"My concession speech will be brief. You win."

Unison plans strikes

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

Well, I think we know who wears the pull-ups in that relationship.

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

U.S. Male - Part Five