Laughter Aficionado Pillows

'I hear you lost your job as a caddie.'

Frankie Boyle

'There's a shortage of nurses at the moment... but don't worry sonny, I''ve been doing this sort of thing in a vets practice for years...! !'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"Sorry for knocking on your door - I just wanted to know if you had a few minutes for me to scare you."

"You're not my husband."

Standup Pharmacist

So? You snort when you laugh too.

'Isn't that a T-shirt cannon?'

'Dude, check it out!'

Supermarket canned laughter.

Smiling Cabinet

The shape of things to come

"Nice guy...but weird sense of humor."

"We've got the results back from the testing. Turns out you're a whiney little sissy."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Cat box"

Love at First Sight

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Easter Island legs

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'