Laughter Enthusiasts Pillows

'The resume is handwritten because I am not very good with computers' - The LAST thing you should say in ANY job interview.

'Ok lads, this is no laughing matter...!'

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

'You misheard me, man - I said I was bringing two ageing babes, not two asian babes.'

Proctologist school....

Catch of the Day: Flu, Strep Throat, Cold, Hepatitis

Earl thought 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day,' was very dumb. 'How about hot dog ice cream?! Or a hot dog already chewed, saving me time by not chewing it?!'

"Can't wait to see what the missus picked up from the farmers market."

"It's my emotional support animal."

'Until we find work, we might want to consider trading in our car for something smaller.'

'They say laughter is the best medicine, which is great! That's about all our new health care plan covers now.'

He's got a gun!

'If you painted on a smile instead of that frown you might make more balloon sales...'

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

'Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!'

'Oh, it's different alright...but I'm not sure how much demand there'll be for a Noam Chomsky impersonator.'

Entertainers - Clowns and Jugglers. No Fools Kept in this van Overnight.

Feeding the ducks (it's a sailing boat).

'At least he didn't bite you.'

"Wow, this comedy channel really is hi-def."

"There are essentially four basic forms for a joke."

Plastic Surgery Clinic. I really botched this rhinoplasty. You blew her nose!

Aw, look what you made me do. The tickle monster was no friend to the weak bladder monster.

"Dad. How come mom is under the bed crying... and what's a gray pubic hair anyway?" "Never mind, son. I'll get the vodka and Xanax. You go lock yourself in your room."

"I guess laughter isn't the best medicine after all."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."