Laughing Lubricators Pillows

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

King and Jester

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

Hypnotoon

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

Medical Cabinet

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

Amy Schumer

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

'MILK FIGHT!'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'