Laughing Lactators Gifts

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

'Actually the twins are not hard to tell apart. When I put them down, the one that cries is Dennis.'

'It's no use he just doesn't understand the let-down reflex!'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"No. I have the baby."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

'I have this recurring nightmare. Mum's so engorged she can't get out of bed to feed me.'

'I love eating out.'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'

'Excuse me - could you please get out of my way - I've got a baby.'

"You sure you've done this before."

Caution Slippery When Wet.

While they were having a celebration in the back, this limo driver recklessly ran into a pole. I"ll cite him for being a party crasher.

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

Do you ever serve chocolate milk?

'The inflamed hemorrhoid is here to see you, Doctor.'

Can you believe we're old enough to have kids taking sex-ed? No! Thank heavens they have a curriculum with all the choices. Although

'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'

"I'm 100% for 'The Donald' my work's secure while he's my president."

"Looks like the copier's broken down again."

'My husband's a breast milk connoisseur.'

Pope Benedict XVI

"Our new bundle of joy is. . . both sexes!"

"I don't wet the bed anymore. We pay someone to come in and wet it for me."