Laughing Laboratory Technician Gifts

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

DNA Xmas.

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Ape Lab. Really?! Those guys are going to test our intelligence?! They want to see if we'll use a ladder to get the banana. They say they're testing our problem-solving ability. Hey, Frank, we can't do the experiment today ... The ladder won't fit through the doorway!

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'