Laugh-inducing Lab Technician Gifts

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

DNA Xmas.

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'Hey, guys, come over here. I just discovered the telescope.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Bacterial Culture

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

Laboratory- risk assessor

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

Don't use your dog's name as a password

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'

'Yes, Sir, I'm still testing the new truth serum. I slept with your wife.'

"Now watch his reaction when I cough on him."

As technology improves, clowning sheep is becoming more common.