Laughing Foodstuff Lover Gifts

"How's the doughnut I gave you?"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

Better Not Squash.

Cooking with Pierre

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'He's cured.'

"Of course our GM vegetables are safe, Madam, they told us so themselves!"

'Trust me, Madam, that fish is fresh!'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

'So this is a kitchen!'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'You'd better cut it into six pieces I don't think I could eat eight!'

"There - now it's a mashed potato. Anything else?"

"Say hello to my little friend!"

'The hair in the soup provides fiber.'

"....My wife and I are strict humanitarians."

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"

The sea salt here is so authentic.

'Look, I didn't know they had salad bars on these flights...'

"The Normans are coming and I can't decide on whether to pour a simple consomme on them, or a more complex bisque."

'Spaghetti dinner. Hold the garlic bread.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'