Laughing Enthusiast Gifts

LOLpalooza

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"Your condition is extremely serious Mr. Butkiss. You should try laughing more often!"

Rob Brydon

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'