Laugh Therapy Lover Pillows

'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'

"I'm 100% for 'The Donald' my work's secure while he's my president."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

King and Jester

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Sardine psychologist.

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?