Laugh-loving Negotiators Gifts

"We had the union meeting here because I felt this was the most appropriate place to present management's contract offer."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Come on, guys, you know what they say: The sour puss never gets the new contract'.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

Some make better deals than others.

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

Meaningful Negotiations?

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

M.D. I hope you brought more candy --- Your HMO just raised you co-pay.

'At the last meeting 7 members of the board disagreed. I remember you said that they'd regret it...'

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'