Laugh-loving Negotiators T-Shirts

"We had the union meeting here because I felt this was the most appropriate place to present management's contract offer."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Come on, guys, you know what they say: The sour puss never gets the new contract'.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

Some make better deals than others.

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

Meaningful Negotiations?

"If you are amenable to that offer, I am prepared to respond with this facial expression."

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'At the last meeting 7 members of the board disagreed. I remember you said that they'd regret it...'

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'

Brexit Part MMMCDIXIV

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."