Laugh-loving Lab Rat Gifts

"Ah-choo." "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Frankenfish

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

'How's the new insomnia pill going?'

Recombinant DNA Lab.

'. . . And I'm taking the lab rats with me!'

'So, tomorrow is bring your kid to work day. Now keep a close watch on him! I don't think I need to remind anyone of what happened last time he went to that lab!'

'Remember? It's me, Rick. I used to have the probe attached to my brain...'

'Marie and Pierre Curie began with several tons of pitchblende...'

The Bacteria Bowl

'Did you ever have a feeling you're being watched?'

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

When Chemists take acid trips.

Will act like an idiot for food.

'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'

"Oops!" "Never say that in a DNA lab!"

"You're research is very promising. It's just a shame you're afraid of mice"

Cat looking up fish recipes.

"Dog food! Why the hell don't they test it on dogs?"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'Perhaps the reason test drug CYM1570268 kills mice, but not people is because mice are different from people.' 'And he'll probably win a Nobel Prize for that theory.'