Lab Laughter Lover Gifts

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Simply put.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

Bio, Inc. Should we continue to invest in this promising new cloning technique? Yeah, let's double down on it.

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

'...Or not.'

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"

Jerk Gene

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

Frankenfish

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'