Lab Laugh Enthusiast Gifts

"It's only a conflict of interest if the data turns out good."

"I feel it's only fair to warn you, Dr. Thompson, that watching cell division can be quite stimulating!"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

Jerk Gene

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Working On Silly String Theory.

DNA Xmas.

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

You inserted donkey DNA into an insect? I made a braying mantis!

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Bacterial Culture

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'The stand-up geneticist'

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Laboratory- risk assessor

Ape Lab. Really?! Those guys are going to test our intelligence?! They want to see if we'll use a ladder to get the banana. They say they're testing our problem-solving ability. Hey, Frank, we can't do the experiment today ... The ladder won't fit through the doorway!

"You say genetically modified po-tay-to, I say genetically modified po-tah-to."

'Here's the problem, sir. This isn't blood in your veins. It's red ink.'

'Whine, whine, whine!' You know what your problem is, Baxter? You're not a team player!'