Lab Laugh Lovers Gifts

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

When Chemists take acid trips.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Simply put.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'...Or not.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Jerk Gene

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

Frankenfish

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'