Laugh Legend Admirer Gifts

Alan Carr

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

Knight ponders on how to remove sword from the stone. Peasant onlooker says: 'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

King and Jester

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Despite some initial reservations, the knights were often grateful for Guinevere's presence at the Round Table.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Have we looked as though we know what it is, for long enough yet?"

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"

Amy Schumer

The laugh track refuses to work, but I can't see the problem."

Tragedy and Material