Latex Lover Gifts

Man locked in latex costume

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Herb's from Texas."

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Hairstyles

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Tyrannosaurus Tex

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

Hanley Fabric Co., Polly-Esther

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

'Your efforts, and the little Latin quotes you drop into your email, have not gone unrecognized.'

'Consummatum est.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound biker.'

Cultivating Toughness in Footballs.

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

I love Classics.

"Wow, you're right, Alpaca Wool is very nice against the skin..."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

Optometrist practical jokes

"Would you like to sample something from the nacho cart?"

'I like doing shampoos, it gets your hands clean.'

'It's the latest weave - comes off in the hand.'

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

"That should say 'message', you imbecile!"