Late Night Lounger Gifts

"I don't know how you do it. I'm hopeless after dinner."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Lighthouse Hammock.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, fell, and retained a brilliant attorney."

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"I'm thinking this might e a good area to set up base camp."

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

Sick person curled up at home

'Where does cozy end and tepid begin?'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"Sorry Honey, I'll be about thirty years late for dinner tonight."

"Chill, Paul. I'm on staycation."

"Medical science continues to provide hope in a troubled world. Now they say chocolate is good for you!"

"Stanley, we're into the summer doldrums again, aren't we?"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Mexican Dog

'Now that I have your attention...'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

Counting Booze bruises

Rest distracted by moles.