Laser-focused News Lover Pillows

Radiography journalist.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

Oligarchy

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Meet the Enemy

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Man Reading Laptop.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Hang in There Democracy!

Joe Biden

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

Charades