Language Processing Gifts

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'i's' and cross the 't's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Stick them up...'

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Staff Yearbook

Ironing Punctuation

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

Populating URBAN DICTIONARY.