Language Maven Gifts

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

'You appreciate that you have just used a split infinitive!'

Sugestshun Box: Spelling test.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Punctuation Police

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Lesser known greek gods,

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'The Questioner'