Language Barrier Jokesters Gifts

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Translating Contractor to English

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'I could murder a pint!'

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

Fart. Le Poot.

"In the end we decided to name him PJZK45Mz! So we could remember our computer's password."

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

'I speak three languages, if you include text-ese and my fake British accent.'

'It's for you.'

"I'm Eggspecting."

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

Millennials Eye Chart

Downloading personal items on the company laptop.

See Gull.

'Hmm.'

Man lies online saying that he is not married and his wife hits him over the head with her rolling pin.

Digital Revolution