Language And Wordplay Fan Gifts

"Why do I have to be a wolf in sheep's clothing? Why can't I just be wolf who happens to identify as a sheep?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Gay Times...

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Please Drove Carefully.

Lesser known greek gods,

Punt Cake

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

The Alpha Seltzer

"Privates Beach"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"