Land Ownership Gifts

"How many acres do I have? What's an acre?"

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Sold his air rights."

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

"The future of resilience is diversity, not monoculture. And I'm not JUST referring to vegetation."

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'