Lady Gaga Fans Gifts

'What's with this Lady Gaga wearing an all-meat dress?!'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

Vannamania

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

'My first drink since my accident.'

The Space Potatoes talk about....Madonna.

"Madonna's out early this morning."

The Galaxy's Guide to Hitchhikers...Paul McCartney.

Justin Drew Bieber

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

"The Gig Economy's been good to me."

Celebrity anagrams: Drab Ian's bar row (Answer: Barbara Windsor.)

Trump and Deep state

'Leader, shmeader... We came here to see Lady Gaga.'

Dachsunds prefer blondes.

"...You'll never believe who shared a prison cell with my dad!"

Jennifer Connelly

A sheep wearing a zip-up cardigan

'He'll not be writing any more quick-fire gags now he's crawling along at that speed, eh, Ern?'

'Our hormones are on back order. Until they come in, we're lending Brad Pitt videos.'

When Barbie divorce me, she took everything.."

Gangster Studying Gangster-English Dictionary

'Not good. . . I accidentally bit Charlie Sheen and now I'm full of warlock tiger blood.'

I dreamed that my ship finally came in, and Johnny Depp was steering it.

"Which network would you like to get your daily fill of Kardashian news from?"

Nigel Havers

The Beckham in right now

Singer with microphone coming from her cleavage.

"I'll ask just one more time...does this outfit make me look like Madonna?"

Armstrong, you mind if I sing along with the music while I do dishes? Don't care. It's Kanye West. Hip-hop. So? You know hip-hop. There is a lot of use of that one work. Oh. I am not a racist! Move along, guilt-consumed white man.

Shark reading 'A Farewell to Arms'

"Houston, we have a problem."