Trendsetter's Fan Club Gifts

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Haircuts

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

Men's business romper.

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

A Macaroni in 1772

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Absolutely not!"

Rap music

Keeping warm.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'