Trendsetter Wannabe Gifts

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'You can always spot the ones having a mid-life crisis.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Haircuts

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bad hair day!

La Table

'She's so put together!'

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Men's business romper.

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

A Macaroni in 1772

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Rap music

Keeping warm.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'