Lactose Legend Gifts

'You fight the Gluten Hordes, make your way through the Peanut Fields, battle the Lactose King...'

Cheese maker

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

New Milks

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

I'm not lactose intolerant. In fact, some of my best friends are disaccharide sugars.

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

'Soy milk, soy burgers...who ever thought we could be replaced by a bean.'

'Milk, butter, cheese, ice cream...you have too much lactose tolerance.'

'I used to have milk in my tea. . .but then one day I had black tea and somebody tole me that 'once you've had black, you never go back.' I don't know why you never go back, but it turned out I'm lactose intolerant, so it's a moot point now. I guess.'

"It started out with lactose, but now he's intolerant of everything."

Dan was becoming increasingly lactose intolerant.

"I'm fed up with complaints about soggy lettuce! In future cook your own lettuce."

"Er, um, no thanks. We're both lactose intolerant."

"I'm sorry Clara, it's over.....the Vet says I'm allergic to Dairy!"