Lactose Laugh Seeker Pillows

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"Projectile hairballing."

"What did Jesus order?"

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

Bald Man Overcomb

Jerk Gene

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'